I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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