just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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