i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
