I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
