She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
