I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
