Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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