Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
