just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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