Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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