It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
