Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
