can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
