An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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