Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
