Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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