I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
