Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
