Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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