You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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