Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
