I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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