She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
