I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
