she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
