On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
