I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
