haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
