I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
