We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
