im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
