This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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