I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
