There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
