Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
