omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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