the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
