Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
