he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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