my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
