She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Everclear isn't food dammit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
