Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
