Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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