We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
