NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Boobs are out for the taking
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
