Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
