i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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