Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
