Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
