Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
