Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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