Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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