i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
